"You need an azimuth to correct your trauma trajectory.
Without it you're just spinning in the wind."
-Chef Jirard Patmon, CRASH Recovery Diet
Did she really say, 'Just keep swimming?!' Seriously, wtf Dory?!"
I remember watching "Finding Nemo" with my daughters. It was a different time, and I was a different person. My chest swelled as I related to a tenaciously optimistic fish with a serious bout of memory loss, yet I regretfully realize now that I was just gonna "keep on swimming" no matter how rough the current was, or how lost I really felt behind my obedient, crooked smile.
I was blinded to my plight.
That's the truth behind this workaholic. I was a wellgroomed people pleaser, excelling in service roles that left others weary and worn. It wasn't even glamorous. In hindsight, others simply had boundaries and self respect. I wasn't more talented or capable, I was merely conditioned to bash myself against the rocks of life, and others were conditioned to honor themselves. Self acceptance is possibly the most underrated tool to living happily, and I was burning the candle at both ends, in the middle, and, by gum you betcher bippy baby, I'd relight the sucker if it burned out from lack of oxygen.
That was the brainwashed "safest" way to run my life, and my mind loves the complexity and creation of business acrobatics. I was on a perpetual high at work, constantly perfecting myself with pages of New Year Resolutions, my current service trade, and my always-overdelivered offering. I loved my team like family. My midwest, self made, middle class parents taught me that no matter what else was going on at home, I might be ok if I worked hard enough. That was a delectable carrot to dangle. I kept thinking that if I tried harder and didn't complain no matter what...
I'd be happy. I'd be safe. I'd be loved. Feel me?
Abuse happens not because of how naughty a child is, but because the abuser has a mental problem. Plain and simple, right? Well, sure, except child brains don't process such data, so my Cinderella role was hardwired into my DNA to "save my own life," when it only expanded a lifetime of suffering. By the time I was 50 I was among the Walking Dead, and my original abusers were soooo proud of the successful workaholic I'd become.
The story above can easily be retold by any addict. People are addicted to eating, picking fights, drugs, alcohol, netflix, the news, gossip, caffeine, sex, compliments, cellphones, and what you must have/eat/see/feel/sense/do at prescribed times. When our "fix" can't be had, we get all sortsa agitated and prickly around the ones we love the most, don't we? Funny how that works. I have a hunch that it's got a little something to do with your body insisting upon acknowledging, validating, and repairing unchecked trauma.
See, when trauma goes unaddressed, maybe the bleeding has stopped but the damage to your body and psyche is still there, remembering. Just to be clear, blood is not a prerequisite for abuse. Equally notable: don't underestimate the impact of a childhood move, friendship lost, death, sickness, financial uncertainty, homelessness, looming debt, global pandemia, and even a diet void of nutrients. All the complexities that make up humanity, our cells and our chemistry, respond to stress in increasingly detectable ways.
Enter an AZIMUTH. Imagine that your lifestyle and your story are the landscape. You want to get over a mountain pass (aka challenge), and choppy water (more trouble) in between you and your end goal. I spose you could parchor the whole shebang and make a straight shot as a crow flies, but whoa Nelly what a waste of precious energy, and if you're here reading this far into a website, chances are excellent that you don't have that kinda energico to waste.
Asking for support from a team of experts, including appropriate loved ones, gives you the path of least resistance to reach optimal wellness. Happiness is a byproduct of wellness, and we highly recommend experiencing this for yourself. I mean, when was the last time YOU ran through a sprinkler in your t shirt, because it just seemed like the thing to do at the time? If you don't know the answer to that pressing question, get yourself on the CRASH Recovery Protocol stat. Your happiness, and maybe your life, depends on it. Plus, it's free! You're welcome!